Batman & Robin (1997): This is, without a doubt, the worst superhero film of all time

Chad’s Grade: D-

What is the worst superhero film of all time? There have certainly been some stinkers over the years. The third “Blade” movie, as does “Spiderman 3,” springs to mind. Halle Berry made her contributions with “Catwoman” and “X-Men: The Last Stand,” although the latter wasn’t her fault. The pre-MCU “Daredevil” are “Elektra” entries are undoubtedly sub-par. And you can’t ignore the Christopher Reeve era “Superman III” and “Superman IV: The Quest for Peace” as uniformly terrible. 

For me, it’s 1997’s “Batman & Robin,” a movie that is so bad on nearly every level that it derailed the live-action Batman franchise for eight years. Warner Bros. was relieved that director Joel Schumacher had revived the box office for the caped crusader and added a kid-friendly tone to 1995’s “Batman Forever.” They wanted a repeat performance, so they invited Schumacher back with a bigger budget and another group of A-List stars.

There’s not much of a plot to “Batman & Robin” as the franchise was spinning its’ wheel at this point. The main villain is Mr. Freeze, a crazed scientist whose blood is laced with cryogenic liquid giving him cold-like powers. Freeze is desperately trying to find a cure for his ailing wife and plans to freeze Gotham, so he can get money to finish his research and find a cure. Thrown into the mix is Poison Ivy, who has pheromone/venom-enhanced lips and teams up with Freeze so she can populate Gotham with her genetically enhanced plants. We also get the live introduction of Bane, but he’s reduced to a mindless manservant to Poison Ivy. 

Of course, Batman, along with his sidekick Robin, are on the case to defend Gotham from this new triple threat. They are helped by the arrival of Barbara Wilson, Alfred’s young niece visiting from England, who will don the mantle of Batgirl. The dynamic duo discovers that Barbara is visiting beloved butler Alfred because he’s dying from a mysterious disease, the same illness that Freeze is trying to cure. Can the new team of Batman, Robin, and Batgirl stop Freeze, his minions, and Poison Ivy while finding a cure for their beloved Alfred? Are you kidding? 

It’s clear from the opening scene that all traces of Tim Burton’s quirky, gothic energy that defined the franchise have been removed. This is a big-budget version of the 1960s Adam West TV show with more camp and pyrotechnics. At one point, the dynamic duo clicks on ice skates to battle Mr. Freeze, then whip out a bat credit card where Batman quips, “don’t leave the Batcave without it.” And the opening battle sequence has so many bad cold-themed puns that I lost count. All that’s missing are the “Bam” and “Pow” title effects to punctuate the action. 

The big star here is Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze, who got a record 25 million payday for his services. But he’s one of the worst things in the film, with his stiff line reading and natural charisma covered up by hideous white makeup. And as an actor, he can’t convincingly convey the driving force of his villainy, the inner torment of watching your loved one wither away from disease. The movie attempts to contrast this with Bruce Wayne losing his father figure Alfred to the same nameless illness, but it’s so poorly handled that the emotional beats don’t land.

Similarly, Alicia Silverstone didn’t help herself with her weak performance as Batgirl. Silverstone was following her breakout role in 1995’s “Clueless,” and this nearly ended her career. And comic book purists were angered by the needless change to canon where Batgirl is Barbara Gordon, daughter of Commissioner Gordon. Why the change to Alfred’s niece?  Nobody cares, as Batgirl was shoehorned into the movie to sell more action figures. 

The only actor worth watching is Uma Thurman’s deliciously over-the-top performance as Poison Ivy. Thurman easily steals all her scenes by strutting like a drag queen on “Ru Paul” and channeling classic movie siren Mae West. She’s a great contrast to the stilted Schwarzenegger, and she’s the only reason this movie doesn’t receive a failing grade.

Despite Thurman’s grand dame performance, “Batman & Robin” doesn’t try to add any new elements to the franchise. It uses the same playbook as before, where screenwriter Akiva Goldsman lifts story beats wholesale from “Batman Forever.” Much like Two-Face, Freeze is an established villain trying to destroy Gotham, then helped by quirky, more interesting criminals Riddler/Poison Ivy. And Ivy’s transformation from mousy botanist to femme fatale is a near copy of Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman story arc in “Batman Returns.” Worst of all, “Batman & Robin” plays like an ensemble movie, where the caped crusader is lost in his own franchise. 

“Batman & Robin” tanked at the box office despite a big opening weekend. The movie grossed a paltry $107 million domestic and $238 million worldwide, a low point for the franchise. Audiences rejected Warner’s pathetic attempt to merchandise the Batman brand with a sub-par, overproduced movie. 

While the Batman series would be parlayed into more animated and TV projects in the following years, this put the feature film series on ice. Hollywood began to reexamine its approach to comic book-based films. A year later, Marvel Comics’ “Blade” was a decidedly dark, R-rated feature. And the modern superhero genre boom would begin in earnest with 2000’s “X-Men” and “Spiderman” in 2002. Both of those movies took their characters seriously with grounded and well-crafted storylines.

THE WAYNE FACTOR:

Val Kilmer reportedly did not get along with director Schumacher during “Batman Forever” and declined to repeat his performance. George Clooney was chosen as the new Batman/Bruce Wayne as the actor was riding a wave of hype from his starring role on television’s smash “E.R.” Clooney jumped at the chance to headline the franchise as he was eager to transition from TV to feature films.

I was sad to see Kilmer exit as I thought he made for a charming Bruce Wayne and brooding Batman. Clooney is fine but comes off stilted in his first shot at leading man status. And he doesn’t share the same chemistry Kilmer had with O’Donnell’s Robin. Clooney admits that this was a terrible movie, and he’s awful in it. In fact, if you tell Clooney that you saw “Batman & Robin,” he will offer you a full refund for the experience.

The subplot with Alfred’s illness is the first entry to explore the bond between Bruce and his father figure, butler. Too bad this potential compelling plotline was wrapped up in such a ridiculous movie. This was the late Michael Gough’s final performance as Alfred, along with Pat Hingle as Commissioner Gordon, and it was a shame that both actors were otherwise wasted in their underwritten roles.

THOSE WONDERFUL TOYS:

With Warner Bros merchandise mandate in place, all the Bat vehicles, including the Bat cave, were reworked top to bottom. The new designs are underwhelming, removing the ribbed hull aesthetic and adding more bright neon. We get to see the introduction of the Bat-Hydroplane in the silly finale as Freeze puts Gotham City on ice.

And Robin has his new red-hued motorcycle until Batgirl upstages him with her sleek motorbike later in the movie.

GOTHAM CENTRAL:

In keeping with the amped-up tone of the film, Barbara Ling’s production design of Gotham City is an asphalt jungle on steroids, dipped in bright technicolor hues. There are ridiculously towering Rodin-like statues and art-deco bridges stacked on more bridges on top of arching skyscrapers. This Gotham has no sense of geography or tangible presence, with every scene built around obviously overdone soundstage sets. It’s complete overkill and a far cry from the striking model designs from the earlier Burton films that became so influential.