My Sexy Friends in the City

The streaming era is frying my brain. There’s no shortage of stuff to watch between Netflix, Disney +, Paramount +, HBO Max, and Amazon. During the early days of the pandemic in 2020, it helped that the major studios serendipitously launched many of their streaming services to keep feeding us brand-new content. And there are so many shows and films that I want to dive into. But it all seems daunting, and time is not my friend these days.

Instead, I’ve been re-watching two classic comedies from the nineties, on cable, no less (with an assist from HBO Max). With so many historical events converging these last few months – A never-ending pandemic and the Russian invasion of Ukraine, my doom-scrolling brain needed an oasis from the newness and a return to the familiar. 

These two shows are set in New York with ensemble casts that redefined their respective formats. And both are very much time capsules of the Clinton era yet still highly rewatchable even as they bring back pre-pandemic memories of hanging out with your buddies in a coffee shop or grabbing brunch with the ladies who lunch. 

FRIENDS

The alpha male of the 90’s sitcom “Friends” launched in 1994 in a comedy TV landscape dominated by the multi-camera format. The show had a rocky first season but quickly became the centerpiece of NBC’s mighty “Must See TV” Thursday lineup.  At one point, “Must See TV” boasted Friends, Mad About You, Seinfeld, and Frasier capped off by the Michael Crichton created smash “ER.” One could argue that “Frasier” had superior writing and acting but lacked the pop culture swagger that “Friends” generated. Some might point to “Seinfeld,” but that show has aged poorly in recent years.

“Friends” had a deceptively simple concept that leans into the sitcom format, almost a distillation of the now dying art form. The show follows a group of six close-knit friends who hang out at the “Central Perk” coffee house to discuss romance and sex and embark on quirky entanglements set in a very artificial, laugh track version of New York. The cast includes David Schwimmer as Ross, the strait-laced older brother to Courtney Cox’s OCD and competitive Monica. Circling the brother & sister duo are free spirit Phoebe (a fantastic Lisa Kudrow), the handsome but air-headed Joey (the always game Matt Leblanc), and goofy smart-ass Chandler (an even gamer Matthew Perry). Last but certainly not least is Jennifer Aniston as rich girl Rachel, who became the ensemble’s breakout star and inspired the infamous “Rachel” haircut.

Thanks to the show’s constant syndication on “Nick at Nite,” I was able to catch most of the 10-year run over a few months. And I’ll be honest; I’ve been a fan of this show since it debuted in 1994, so it’s never been far off my radar. But I had some thoughts and observations revisiting my favorite sextuplets in this streaming era:

1. Friends truly is a time capsule of the 90s, capturing the indie coffee shop culture that Starbucks eventually co-opted. These coffee shops were like mini-town squares decked out in oversized sofas and tables with plenty of electric outlets for your newly purchased laptop. When I lived in San Diego, there was the popular “Living Room,” very much inspired by the “Central Perk” set show, where I had many coffee dates during my early coming “out” years. It was a time when these shops wanted you to stay, prop up your feet, read a book or finish writing the next great American novel. Or simply hang out with your…Friends. Sadly, the rise of the smartphone and social media and the pandemic has decimated this cultural relic of the 90s.
2. Watching Friends with 2022 goggles on, many of the show’s criticisms are valid. There is no excuse for the lily-white cast, which was all too familiar in 90’s broadcast TV. The fat suit that the svelte Courtney Cox donned for Monica’s flashbacks is cringeworthy. There’s also a downright transphobic subplot with Chandler’s transgender father, played by Kathleen Turner (along with Morgan Fairchild as his mom), which is mean-spirited and would make J.K. Rowling proud. And don’t get me started on the running gag of Joey getting aroused whenever two girls show affection. All the men on Friends lean into the sex-crazed male stereotype. 
3. Friends commanded such huge ratings that the show attracted A-list guest stars, a rarity for a television sitcom. You’re not slumming on TV when 30 million viewers are watching. During the show’s first super bowl special, Julia Roberts, Chris Isaak, Brooke Shields, and Jean Claude Van Dam made an appearance. Everybody from Bruce Willis, Brad Pitt, Reese Witherspoon, and Tom Sellick did guest spots. There are too many to list, but some of my favorites were Susan Sarandon as a boozy soap opera star (that hooks up with Joey) and Sean Penn! Yes, Sean Penn is a romantic interest for Phoebe. And Sean was cute and charming! Oh, and ageless vampire Paul Rudd did an extended arc during the show’s final 10^th season. 
4. The sitcom’s first season was easily its worst. You can feel the cast exploring and figuring out the ensemble’s chemistry. But once they found the right formula, the show’s quality was remarkably consistent. Let’s face it; most long-running comedies take a nosedive in quality around seasons four and five. But Friend’s managed to stay funny for its entire run.
5. In season five, the writers took a big gamble by pairing up Monica & Chandler. The “will they or won’t they” couple of Ross & Rachel dominated the show’s early seasons, but Monica and Chandler were just platonic friends. That all changed when the two hooked up at the end of season four and discovered they genuinely loved each other. Chandler & Monica became the anchor couple for the rest of the series. The risk-taking move scrambled the ensemble’s chemistry that reinvigorated the show in a creative new direction. 
6. Despite the consistent quality, there were some stinker subplots that never quite worked. The awkward romantic pairing of Joey & Rachel in season eight was so ludicrous that the writers quickly course-corrected. Speaking of Rachel, her pregnancy and decision to keep the baby never was believable for such a superficial character. Especially with Ross as the father, adding another layer of complexity to the Ross & Rachel pairing. The whole Ross & Rachel coupling got so convoluted that it was a relief that they finally, after ten years, ended up together in the series finale. 
7. In season five, my favorite episode is still “The One Where Everybody Finds Out.” As the title suggests, this is where the whole gang figures out that Monica & Chandler have been secretly dating. Up until this point, only Joey had discovered his friend’s secret, until Rachel and Phoebe catch on and decide to play some pranks. What follows is a Shakespearean comedy of errors in sitcom form that features sharp writing and the ensemble’s chemistry in full force. The episode features one of my favorite lines from Monica: “They don’t’ know that we know they know we know.”

After a healthy ten-year run, “Friends” aired its series finale on May 4th, 2004. While the show has been in near-constant syndication, the creators and cast have thankfully resisted the reboot/revival trend that brought back Will & Grace, Murphy Brown, and Roseanne (now The Connors). There was one spinoff, “Joey,” that followed Matt Leblanc’s character in Los Angeles to further his acting career. The show was dead on arrival and lasted one season. In 2021, HBO Max streamed a “behind the scenes” style reunion special that came off as a sincere but nostalgic cash grab to promote the nascent streaming service. 

SEX & THE CITY

In the late 90s, HBO was breaking into the scripted TV format in a big way. Their first big hit was the prison set drama “OZ” in 1997, and “The Sopranos” would debut a few years later in 1999.

Snuggled between those two gritty dramas was HBO’s first ambitious foray into comedy when “Sex & The City” premiered in the summer of 1998. Developed by producer Darren Starr and based on Candace Bushnell’s novel of the same name, the show was the rare cable programming that landed with a female audience (and many gay men.)

Where “Friends” was the perfect sitcom vehicle, “Sex & The City” became a pioneer in the single-camera format. The show stars the charming Sara Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw, a writer who pens the newspaper column “Sex & the City.” The show follows Carrie as she navigates the complicated dating and single life on the island of Manhattan, usually punctuated by voice-over as she writes her weekly column. Joining Carrie on her romantic odysseys is the unfiltered and sex-positive Samantha (a fearless Kim Cattrall), the pragmatic cynic Miranda (the consistently excellent Cynthia Nixon), and hopeful romantic Charlotte (a charming but outclassed Kristin Davis).

My first exposure to the show was a one-page ad in Entertainment Weekly, where the title suggested it was a “Red Shoe’s Diary” knockoff that starred the nice girl from “Footloose.” I came to the show during season 3, where my straight buddy, who was obsessed with Kim Cattrall, encouraged me to give it a chance. I became a huge fan, but it has been years since I properly rewatched the show. Thanks to the magic of HBO Max, I decided to revisit my favorite New York City girls. And as usual, I have thoughts…

1. The show was the perfect vehicle for Sara Jessica Parker. In the early 80s, Parker made the leap from the cult TV hit “Square Pegs” to the feature film world as a character actress with notable turns in “Footloose” & “L.A. Story.” But Parker’s unique charisma is better suited to the small screen, much like fellow 80’s icons Heather Locklear, Michael J. Fox, and Farah Fawcett. And Parker radiates such warmth and charm, making her the perfect guide through this romantic wonderland of a show. For better or worse, Carrie Bradshaw will always be the definitive role for the talented SJP.
2. The romantic comedy “When Harry Met Sally” is a significant influence. The 1989 classic, directed by Rob Reiner, featured a ground-breaking (and Oscar-nominated) script by the late Nora Ephron. Whenever Carrie and her gal pals engage in their sexually charged conversations, I was reminded of Harry & Sally’s playful and wisely observant discussions of the dating rituals between the sexes. 
3. The show is a true valentine to New York City. Thanks to the deep pockets of HBO, the cast and crew filmed on location in the Big Apple. Many popular bars and restaurants of the 90s were featured in various episodes. This gave an air of authenticity to many of the girl’s romantic adventures, a far cry from the artificial façades of the set bound “Friends.” And a bonus: then-Mayor Rudy Giuliani was mentioned despairingly in early episodes until 9/11 when he became “America’s Mayor.” If only the girls could see what a cartoon villain Rudy would be in the modern era.
4. Since this was HBO and not broadcast TV, the show often dipped its toes into the taboo subject matter. While the clever scripting never featured much course language, the show did make ample use of nudity and sex scenes. The latter was where Kim Cattrall was the MVP. Her Samantha was fearless in showing off her amazing (then 40 something) body and bedding any handsome man that cruised her. And it’s to Cattrall’s talent that Samantha came off as a fully fleshed human being and not a cartoon caricature (along with five Emmy nominations as best supporting actress.)
5. Unfortunately, “Sex & the City” featured two well-intentioned but uber clichéd gay characters in Stanford (the late Willie Garson) and Anthony (Mario Cantone). These two came from the “best friend academy of gay stereotypes.” This counted as progress back in the 90s, as this was the era when Ellen “coming” out was cover story material. And to the show’s credit Stanford is shown with several boyfriends and romantic escapades, a far cry from broadcast shows like “Will & Grace.” And the pair, in one of the series’ most ludicrous subplots, ended up hooking up and marrying in the second Sex & the City movie.
6. The show is a mixed bag for diversity and female representation behind the camera. The show was a gateway for many prominent female directors and writers like Allison Anders, Susan Seidelman, Nicole Holofcener, Jenny Bicks, and Cindy Chupack. But like Friends, the all-white cast of the main characters and their many romantic interests are inexcusable in one of America’s most diverse cities. There were just a handful of men of color the girls dated, including a much-heralded recurring spot for Blair Underwood, who courts Miranda in Season Six.
7. There was not one but two ‘will they or won’t they couples. The first was Carrie and Mr. Big (a sexy Chris Noth), and this coupling became as convoluted as Ross & Rachel on “Friends.” The pair had fantastic chemistry, and nearly every season, Mr. Big swooped in and either romanced Carrie or destroyed a promising pairing with a more worthy man (like Aiden.) The second was between Miranda and David Eigenberg’s Steve. This was my favorite as it was fun to watch Steve’s sweet romanticism melt Miranda’s frozen cynical heart. Steve was introduced in Season 2 and would randomly pop up (even getting Miranda pregnant) until they finally married in Season 6. 
8. And speaking of Mr. Big, I’m still convinced that Aiden was the best man for Carrie. Played by the handsome John Corbett and introduced in Season 3 as a sweet, husky furniture maker who was the opposite of the more refined Mr. Big. A controversial storyline had Carrie cheating on Aiden with (of course) Mr. Big. But Aiden was a big hit with the fans, and the character returned the following season, losing the excess weight and wiser to Carrie’s eccentricities. They had a healthy dating life through most of Season 4, and I, along with many other fans, was heartbroken when the couple split for good in the season finale. 

After six seasons, “Sex & The City” ended on February 22, 2004. Both cast and crew wanted to end the series on a creative high and move on to new projects. The show did make the leap to the big screen twice. The 2008 “Sex & The City: The Movie,” written and directed by showrunner Michael Patrick King, was essentially season 7 combined as a big feature. Despite middling reviews (the movie is quite good, capturing the show’s essence), the film was a big hit at the box office, and “Sex &The City 2” debuted in 2010. The sequel was an unmitigated disaster as it took the girls out of their beloved New York on a trip to Abu Dhabi (United Arab Emirates). The concept was dead on arrival (and much behind the scenes drama with Kim Cattrall) and flopped, ending the movie franchise. 

A prequel series called “The Carrie Diaries” aired on the CW in 2013, starring Anna Sophia Robb as a teenage Carrie in high school. The show was unable to capture the spirit of the original with its high school setting and lasted two seasons despite featuring writers from the original “Sex &The City.” 

Sadly, there was a reboot/sequel series that streamed on HBO Max in January 2022 titled “And Just Like That.” The new show follows a now 50ish Carrie and her gal pals, minus Kim Cattrall, who had a public and significant falling out with Sara Jessica Parker. The series deserves a separate review, but I found it a mixed bag. It was bizarre to see Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte dropped into a dramatic, hour-long format facing some dark storylines. Gone is Carrie’s voiceover and the tight, zippy half-hour plotlines. And the missing Samantha throws the ensemble chemistry out of whack. Like I said, “And Just Like That” deserves its own review. We’ll be getting a second season, so stay tuned.